Bitch, Moan, Complain…

The following is an excerpt from Part Two:

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.

Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.

—H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

After a few months of being in prison, I noticed a pattern. I became acclimated to the idea that everything happens for a reason. At the same time, I observed that I was doing exactly what I vehemently criticized the prison staff for: judging. It became clear that we do not have to be in prison to be imprisoned. Day after day I observed the prison staff imposing their self-righteous, chastising control strategies. I detected the resentment of the inmates towards them and the disdain that everyone felt toward one another. It is not the sort of environment I was used to, or so I duped myself into believing.

We all love to complain and condemn. It is what we do best. It is what we are trained for. We complain about the weather, our jobs, our neighbors, our kids, our partners. We criticize people we have never met. We sit in front of the news and wallow in condemnation. We have an opinion on everyone in town and around the planet. We do it to others; we do it to ourselves.

The way we treat other people is a mirror of how we self-flagellate. The degree of abuse that we tolerate from a mate exactly correlates with the amount that we are willing to internally inflict on ourselves. Our tolerance level is determined by what we have allowed ourselves to be trained for. Judging ourselves is normal. Judging others is normal. It is as ordinary as breathing. It is as normal as a plague of famished grizzles.