What’s black and white but not read?

The following is an excerpt from Part One:

My all-time favorite book, in the genre of vindictiveness, is The Never Ending Library Book, by Usuck Bigtime. When I first arrived at the prison, my first and only two library books were confiscated by pecker-head Patty Cake before I got to read them. I began submitting requests to the library, depositing ten of them over the following twelve weeks. I skipped the two weeks at inventory time in April. Still having no results, I resorted to having an e-mail sent to the warden’s office, from my sister. Much to their discontent, notification was sent to Piss mod block officer Roberto, and his supervisor, Lt. Normandy. They emphatically ensure me that e-mailing is not the solution and that Roberto would “handle it,” with Normandy as the backup.

The published Inmate Rule Book, under the section entitled, “Minimum Standards of Confinement While in Disciplinary Confinement,” lists: “Reasonable reading material, the inmate may have two soft-covered books.” Surely it would not be preposterous to expect that the general prison population have some measly reading material made available to them. Naturally, as with all other matters at the Intake Service Center, it depends on who is on duty and their mood.

More weeks pass. Roberto or Normandy have not yet handled a thing. On a rare occasion, when Roberto is in the mod instead of lounging around in the bubble, I ask, “Where’s the books?”

“I don’t know anything about it.” After another month, I confront Normandy, the hotshot who promised results. During eight months in that shit hole and eighteen request slips later, I get not a single library book with the exception of the first two that were confiscated.