The Rookie

The following is an excerpt from Part One:

During my tenure in Hell mod there is a new block officer on the patty Patty Cake shift. He instantly attains the nick name of Rookie. All the while, I am a rookie jailbird, so I can empathize with his awkward unfamiliarity. Some of the well-seasoned, seedier convicts purposely razz him. They are like a bunch of kids pushing to see how far they can go.

He rises above their pettiness. He devotes his attention to the guys who have legitimate needs. He answers questions and attempts to respond to requests. Yet within a month he assumes the attitude of his mentor, dumb-fuck Penelope. He assumes the premise that all inmates are created equal—equal to what you scrape off the bottom of your shoe. He becomes cold, callous, uncaring, and unpleasant, a product of a pathetic system that cultivates hate mongers. Adapting to a rotten attitude in order to “fit in” on the job is one thing. Complacency with tolerance is the preliminary step. Resorting to cruelty is the final level, and entirely beyond acceptability.

One night someone shouts “Fuckin’ rookie.” He challenges everyone in that section of the mod to come forward. No one does. Everyone is locked in. Ten minutes later, he returns with a battalion of seven other monkeys. They raid every cell along that wall. Everything is smashed around and destroyed. Bedding and clothing are flung into the toilets. Kool-aid is splashed over everything in sight. The barbarians are like human tornados on a rampage of revenge. They complete their profane task and exit the mod laughing and joking. They look like they just attended a live Robin Williams stand up performance.

Criminally Retarded

The following is an excerpt from Part One:

They are called “environmentally retarded.” All of the men housed at the group home where Sid worked for six years had their front teeth removed. This had been done years earlier when they first entered state operated facilities for the mentally ill. Teeth impeded the shock therapy conditioning process. Particularly in the first half of the twentieth century, children who today might be diagnosed with autism or Tourettes or even ADHD may have been thrown into a cauldron labeled “retarded.” They were cloaked with shame and degradation. It was a common practice to commit them to institutions. In Rhode Island, the Ladd Center was one such place.

Draconian procedures such as shock treatment were generally accepted practices. Many of the guys would tell Sid the stories of being locked in “the blue room” without food or water. They were subjected to violence and sexual abuse. According to their rendition one woman was gang raped. Her child was boiled to death and hauled out with the trash.

By the 1970s and 80s those practices and facilities became obsolete. Most of the occupants were transitioned into group homes. Although many of the injured parties were not afflicted with retardation at the time they were committed, the process of living in that environment, and being exposed to those behaviors, eventually rubs off. They are classified as environmentally retarded.

A similar type of phenomenon occurs in the joint. Criminals locked in cells, as well as the ones who get to go home at the end of their double and triple shifts, are affected equally. After being exposed to an undesirable class of inmate population for a while, it becomes preferable to turn a deaf ear or a blind eye to their plight, whether real or imagined. There are users, whiners, and bullies, like anywhere else in the world. In prison, because of the oppressive environment and C/O intervention, it flourishes in concentrated doses.

Complacency can become as contagious as the common cold. My observation at the Intake Service Center is that many of the staff treat all prisoners equally as unworthy of respect or dignity. It creates a downward spiral of self-righteous, inhumane treatment.

Heaven Awaits

The following is an excerpt from Part Two:

Mercury retrograde is a familiar astrological phrase. It refers to a period when Mercury appears to be traveling backwards on its orbit. That is not actually the case, of course. The illusion is created because it travels its ellipse disproportionately to its neighboring planets. Mercury retrogrades typically occur for three-week periods on three occasions during the year. They are associated with confusion and disruption. Since Mercury rules Gemini and Virgo, these two Sun signs are typically considered the hardest hit. Nevertheless, no one escapes the influence.

Coincidentally, Sid and I are both under Mercury’s rule. The timing of our births has us singled out. The sexual preference with which we come into this world categorizes us as well. Everyone, nonetheless, has his own particular set of characteristics. Some persons are born male, others female. Some people are short, others not. Some have curls, still others cannot get a curl to stick with crazy glue. The array of skin tones is more spectacular than the spectrum displayed after a rainstorm. It is all as wonderful as can be. Often, we choose not to see it that way. We have been domesticated by our “guides,” but we can choose to take on a different view.

Acceptance is the answer. Acceptance of self and of others, the way we are. Not the way Simon says we should be. Love is at the foundation. Kindness is at the helm. Joy is the rainbow of fulfillment. The Mastery of Love (Reprinted with permission of John Wiley & Sons, Inc.© 2002 by Miguel Angel Ruiz, M.D.) insightfully reveals an indisputable notion:

Truth, forgiveness and self-love…with these three points, the whole world will heal and will no longer be a mental hospital. We don’t have to suffer any longer…if all humans could be truthful with themselves, start forgiving everyone, and start loving everyone…they would no longer judge each other.

This was my greatest prison revelation: “Remember, when you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge.” (From The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer). Heaven or hell. The choice is ours.

Nuts please!

The following is an excerpt from Part Two:

We each possess the power to determine if this lifetime will elevate us to the status of heaven or diminish us to the level of hell.

Many organized religions have fantasized heaven and hell as afterlife destinations. Don’t look now, but those obscure getaways are local attractions. Which destination you elect is a personal pronouncement not contingent upon the dictates of others. The option to be sucked down or to rise above is as elementary as “do I want the cream-filled chocolate or the one with nuts?” It is very simple, although it is not at all easy.

The ego is programmed to keep us in our furrows of judgment and persecution. Judging and Not Judging do not play fair. In our unawareness, Judging wins every time. By becoming aware of and choosing the alternative, we hold the combination to heaven’s gates. By remaining in our rudimentary ruts of criticism, we elect the penitentiary of hell.

Bestselling author Joe Vitale  (Permission to reprint granted, John Wiley and Sons, Inc.) tells of his struggle in Zero Limits. For ten years he attempted to avoid the trap of judging. He promised himself a “reward if I could get through one day without having some judgment of someone.” He has never been able to do it. Personally, I would be thrilled making it for a few hours. Habituation is difficult to beat.

Bitch, Moan, Complain…

The following is an excerpt from Part Two:

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.

Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.

—H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

After a few months of being in prison, I noticed a pattern. I became acclimated to the idea that everything happens for a reason. At the same time, I observed that I was doing exactly what I vehemently criticized the prison staff for: judging. It became clear that we do not have to be in prison to be imprisoned. Day after day I observed the prison staff imposing their self-righteous, chastising control strategies. I detected the resentment of the inmates towards them and the disdain that everyone felt toward one another. It is not the sort of environment I was used to, or so I duped myself into believing.

We all love to complain and condemn. It is what we do best. It is what we are trained for. We complain about the weather, our jobs, our neighbors, our kids, our partners. We criticize people we have never met. We sit in front of the news and wallow in condemnation. We have an opinion on everyone in town and around the planet. We do it to others; we do it to ourselves.

The way we treat other people is a mirror of how we self-flagellate. The degree of abuse that we tolerate from a mate exactly correlates with the amount that we are willing to internally inflict on ourselves. Our tolerance level is determined by what we have allowed ourselves to be trained for. Judging ourselves is normal. Judging others is normal. It is as ordinary as breathing. It is as normal as a plague of famished grizzles.